Behind These Walls
by Darkness Incarnated
Summary: Indigo has hidden inside of himself. He sees no good in humanity, no good in people, and is suspicious of nearly everyone. After being hurt severely by a stranger, he turns away from previous friends and dives into his studies. The BAU seems like a good place for his views on people in general, but what happens when the team starts to alter his opinions? S&M mentions, M/M hinting.


_So I probably should be working on my other stories or, god forbid, doing my homework, but this happened instead. Hope you enjoy! _

_**Warnings:**__ Implied BDSM and gay characters. Possible gay relationships, none with canon characters. _

_I own nothing from Criminal Minds._

**Behind These Walls**

**Prologue: That Which Has Occurred**

I'd been here before. The thrumming club music, flashing strobe lights and scantily clad men rubbing against one another on the dance floor were familiar. This floor was more restrained though. A simple gay club for your neighborhood closet cases.

If you were here for something with a bit more… bite, you wanted the next level down.

Forget scantily clad, if they were down here, they were bare ass naked or damn near it, wearing thongs or G-strings to keep everything in its place. Leather collars and jingling chains were attached to men with half-lidded eyes and seductive smiles, waiting eagerly for their catch of the night. It was a new kind of heaven for someone like me; that much was damn sure.

Though I may have been here before, my new conquest seemed as if he was much more comfortable with the whips and chains scene. Tall, muscled and oozing a prominent air of domination. Definitely fuck worthy.

At least that was how it had started.

There was an empty room. A private room, with the chains hung on metal hooks and rich velvet bedding. It was expensive. The man had waved away my awe with a flick of his wrist, smiling and leading me to the bed. We'd gone over safe words and boundaries before. I didn't think about it. This was routine. Being tied, blindfolded. Routine.

It didn't stay that way. He was different. Cruel in a way that I'd never encountered before. He whipped to the point where the pain mingling with the pleasure melted firmly into agony. I started with begging. Telling him to stop or I'd leave. Tattle. Like a child. He'd laughed. Hit me harder. Called me things. I safe-worded. He didn't stop.

He didn't stop for hours. Not until someone passing by seemed to realize my crying, screaming, begging wasn't from enjoyment or from the usual play. By the time the security and workers broke into the room, he was gone. I was bleeding, sobbing and gasping. Begging. Please, please, please… A string.

The owner wrapped me in blankets. I'd kicked and screamed, cowering away from any of the men. Huddling in a corner with blankets, blood trickling from between my legs and down my thighs. The bouncer had run into the street, grabbing a prostitute from her corner and ushering her into the club. She'd been pissed. Telling him to fuck off, that she'd had work to do. That she wasn't into beating on people like us freaks.

Then she saw me. Shaking, crying and cowering under bloody white blankets. She'd understood. Whatever I'd just been through, it hadn't been consensual, and being a whore, she knew the police wouldn't see it that way. S&M was S&M. Everything was consensual, whether the bottom said it was or not.

She'd cuddled me, told me she was sorry, that it wasn't fair. But she hadn't lied. Hadn't told me it would be all right. Because, in my mind, it wouldn't be. She'd driven me to the hospital in a car that smelled of baby, a car seat buckled behind the passenger seat. She told me about herself. Her name was Sam, she had a one year old little girl named Ella, and she worked on corners to feed her child.

I'd refused to speak to the doctors. Sam spoke to the receptionist behind her desk. Requesting a female doctor and nurses. After a bit of explanation that "He's just been raped by a male, you bitch! Now get us a goddamn doctor!" the woman gave. Seemed that was all the persuasion she needed.

It took over an hour, but I was seated in a gurney behind a curtain, clinging to Sam's hand with a numb feeling inside. The women had been surprisingly sympathetic, cleaning my wounds quickly, but gently. They'd checked my back end too. I'd cried, clung to Sam, burying my face in her chest.

Then the doctor came in. It wasn't a girl. I shrieked, pushing away from the bed and starting to cry again. He seemed honestly confused, like he didn't understand my terror. Sam had cussed him out of my curtained area in languages I'd never heard of before.

Everything after that went as smoothly as one would expect. More tears. Less talking. I slipped safely inside myself that night. Built walls up high enough that they blocked out any sunlight. But the darkness was fine. I could be alone in the dark. No one could cause damage if I was alone.

It was cold, though. Alone, in the dark. But shivering in an abyss of blackness seemed a small price to pay for safety.

My college life changed too. I'd been happy, outgoing, loud. A people person. I'd wanted to be a nurse. To help people. I decided after that there was no point in saving people who didn't deserve to be saved. In my mind, humanity was in a deep, dank hole. I thought it should stay there.

I changed my classes. Took psychology. Learned about the sickness inside of people. Thought 'why not'. I majored in criminal psychology. Graduated at twenty-three. People were shocked.

What had happened to bubbly Indigo Ross? The life of the party, a good student. I turned myself into an unapproachable ass. I knew it too. What friends I'd had gave up, left me to my own devices. I completed the minimum degrees I needed to join the BAU in record time. If I was a good student with half of my mind on partying, I was a damn genius when I threw myself to my books.

In the fall, Aaron Hotchner approved my transfer into his unit. A trial run he'd told me. See if you're cut out for this. I'd take night classes to improve the degrees I had and to receive a new one.

Just like that, I was an FBI agent set to join a sub-division that was dedicated to tracking down the scum of society. For once since the incident, I felt the smallest inkling of excitement.

_I'd really appreciated reviews! Tell me if you loved it or hated it, but if you didn't like it would you tell me why? Constructive criticism is much loved!_


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